Just Jade
by manitilde
Summary: Jade West is a complicated girl.  A collection of stories focusing on Jade, her life, and her relationships.
1. Just Jade

Jade West is a smart, beautiful, talented, sixteen year old girl, and she knows it.

She doesn't bother pretending to be something she's not and hates people who do. This may seem strange considering that she is an actress. There is however, a difference between the two. Jade firmly believed that acting is about life and about bringing the character, who before was simply words on a page, into reality. Breathing life into a character is the job of the actor, providing themselves as mediums so that their story can be told.

People who pretend to be something that they are not in real life were pathetic to her.


	2. Sex, Drugs, and Whatever

Jade, contrary to popular belief doesn't do drugs. She doesn't smoke, she doesn't drink, she doesn't lose herself in cheap meaningless sex. She values her voice too much to risk ruining it just to look cool, her body too much for some momentary high, and her self too much for a cheap thrill. Besides she spends most of her time with Cat and Beck, one who was a natural high in and of herself and the other who thought she was perfect and treated both his and her bodies like temples.

She wasn't the tortured cliché that people thought she was. Thinking back on it, Jade had a pretty normal childhood. She wasn't poor, but she wasn't rich. Her parents made good money, but didn't flaunt it. Sure, her parents worked a lot, and she was home alone often, but they weren't abusive. They didn't get drunk and beat her; they didn't blow all their money on drugs and sex. They were normal, middle class, white, Americans. Sometimes there would be times when Jade wished things were different, that her parents gave a damn about her, that it wasn't her older brother Nathan who basically raised her; but those days were few and far between. She couldn't change the past and whining about it wouldn't do any good.


	3. Enter Cat

The first time that Jade meets Cat, she is being pushed up against her locker by some bullies. It was the third week of eight grade and Cat had just moved to town after her father was transferred from some company based in the Silicon Valley. (Not that Jade knew or cared at the time) Jade easily dispatched of the bullies, kneeing one of the groin and glaring at the rest before they scampered away.

The moment they are out of sight, Cat begins to excitedly thank Jade. Jade ignores her, only telling her that she was in the way of her locker and to go away. After that incident, Cat follows Jade around like a lost puppy, her (then) brown hair bouncing with every step. Jade tells her to go away, and Cat does, for a while, only to reappear moments later as if nothing ever happened.

Occasionally, Jade had the urge to take the girl and shake her so that she would get the message that she was unwanted, but refrained. Jade had a sinking feeling that the girl would break if she so much as place a hand on her shoulder.

Eventually, Jade gets used to Cat's constant presence and simply accepts her as another part of her life that she has no real control over.

One day, though, as they are walking to class she asks Cat why she was always following her. Cat stops for a moment, confused, before saying, "Because we're friends, silly" and continuing to walk on. Jade nodded to herself after this declaration.

What else should she have expected?


	4. Hate Is a Strong Word

Jade hated a lot of things. Beck tried to make a list once, but lost count somewhere around 7860.

She hates posers, tails on shrimp, the number nine, people who say "fucking a," sky writers, and –well, people in general.

There were few people that she would say she liked, even fewer that she would say she loved. Beck Oliver is on the list, right after her older brother Nathan. Most days Cat makes the list, but other than that, Jade just tolerates the existence of other people. Barely.

Sometimes she thinks that the world would be a much better place without people in it, but then she remembers that she is a performer and that there would be little point in performing without an audience. So she refrains from riding the world of other people.


	5. Treble

When Jade was younger she used to stay with a neighbor when her parents were at work and her brother was too busy to watch her.  
Ms Pyle never married and never had kids. Though she was only in her early thirties, to a young Jade, she seemed much older. In the beginning, she hated having to spend time with the older woman. It meant that her family couldn't be bothered with her and she couldn't be in her room with her books. That was until Ms Pyle started to teach Jade how to play the piano.

Even though Jade was just seven, she loved the sound of music. She loved the feeling she had when the sorrowful tones of the piano filled the room. She picked it up quickly, though she had a rough start. She couldn't understand how dots and squiggles on a page could be the beautiful, melancholy music that she loved to hear. Jade was a smart girl, though, and reading music became second nature to her, especially after she figured out that she could remember the notes better if she used her voice. She knew that her brother liked it when she sang, and that sometimes her mother would even smile, but it wasn't until Ms Pyle had sat down and really worked with her that she started to believe that she was a really good singer. The informal music lessons got a lot more fun for the girl when Ms Pyle mixed her piano exercises with singing. Some days, Ms Pyle would even record Jade singing so that she could hear what everyone else heard, so she could hear for herself how amazing her voice was.

For two years Jade was taught in the living room of Ms Pyle. In those two years, Jade fell further in love with performing and with music. Just after her ninth birthday though, was their last lesson together, Ms Pyle had taken a job teaching music in Berkeley. She gave Jade a book of sheet music as a going away present, as if a packet of paper made up for the abandonment. Jade ripped several of the pages to shreds when she got home, only to tape them together again later that night.

For a while, Jade tried to forget about music. It was easy in the beginning because she really had no real means to practice. She did find herself singing more often; never where anyone could hear her, but still singing. Sometimes she would even catch herself practicing her scales unconsciously on her leg during school or on counter tops. Her parents were practical people, however, people who thought creativity was a wasted endeavor and that dreams of anything other than a doctor or a lawyer or something like that weren't even worth entertaining.

Jade is ten when she saves up enough allowances for a second hand keyboard. It's not the same as the baby grand piano she learned to play on. It felt strange at first, the electronic notes somehow shallower than the resonating tone of a real piano, but she cherished it anyway. She practiced in secret, a borrowed pair of her brother's headphones plugged in. She stored it under her bed so that no one can see; it makes its home next to the box of sheet music and recordings of her singing and playing.


	6. Of Cats and Christina

The first time Jade spends the night at Cat's house she hates it immediately. She already hated most people and the bright color of the Valentine house wasn't helping things.

She hates Cat's mom just as immediately. She was the type of woman who was always smiling politely, who complimented you, and who was completely fake.

They go up to Cat's room quickly and Jade is not disappointed when she is suddenly surrounded by bright pink comforters, fuzzy pillows, and numerous stuffed animals. Cat jumps excitedly onto her bed and starts to talk to Jade about anything and everything that pops into her head. Minutes later, Cat jumps up from her bed and ruses to the front door. Her dad is home. She greets him enthusiastically and he all but ignores her as he calls up to her brother and mother. Her mother gives Cat a couple of bills and tells her that they are going out to get and that she can order a pizza. She doesn't ask Cat if she would like to join them. Cat seems used to it. Jade hates them even more after that.

(After they leave, Cat tries to act as excited as she was before, but Jade can see her mask slip)

The first time Jade hears Cat sing is later that night. The two girls are sitting in Cat's room listening to the radio to kill the silence of the otherwise empty house. Cat's CD collection was pretty much what you would expect; bubble-gum pop and Top 40s .She also had a nice collection of R&B, which gave her several points in Jade's book. Selecting a Christina Aguilera CD, Jade hits play. Eventually "Beautiful" begins to play. It starts softly, Cat's voice, like she's unaware that she is doing it. It gains power though, and to say that Jade was surprised that such a powerful, soulful voice could come from a girl so small and sweet would have been a gross understatement. In retrospect, though, Jade figured she should have expected it; Cat was always full of surprises.

At the song's end, Cat seemed genuinely surprised at Jade's small applause. It was at that moment that Jade decided that that Cat was applying to Hollywood Arts with her later in the year.


	7. Age Is But a Number

Jade is only sixteen, though sometimes she feels much older.

Sometimes she feels old when she when she is with Cat, making sure that she doesn't get herself into too much trouble.

Sometimes she feels old when she realizes that the world her friends live in is corrupt, dark, and dangerous.

Sometimes she feels absolutely ancient when she is lying next to Beck, doing absolutely nothing but listening to his steady breathing, and she feels as though she has known him for an eternity.


	8. Driving Lessons

The first time that Jade drives a car, she is fourteen and half asleep.

Eighth grade is almost over and both Cat and Jade are waiting for their audition dates in a couple of weeks. It's a Friday night and Jade is lying in her bed asleep, which is understandable considering that is just after midnight. The silence of the night is broken by the shrill ring of her cell phone. Jade nearly falls out of bed trying to answer it. She is groggy and her voice is deep with sleep.

"What?"

"…"

"Who is this?"

"…Jade."

"Cat?"

"…"

"Cat, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?"

"You said…you said to call if I ever needed…I'm sorry! I didn't know who else to call. I'm sorry— "

"Cat! What's wrong?"

"I can't get into my house."

"Why?"

"I got locked out."

"Locked…? Where are you now?"

"The park."

"Don't move."

"Why?"

"Just stay there, I'll come get you."

"OK."

Hanging up, Jade quickly pulls on a sweatshirt and a pair of shoes before tiptoeing down stairs. Briefly, she wonders if she could be a ninja before she almost trips over her own feet on the last step. She doesn't fall, but curses herself mentally. Straining, she tries to hear if she's waken anyone up. After what she deems an appropriate amount of time she moves on, grabbing her mother's car keys from the dish by the front door and sneaking out of the house.

Climbing into her mother's shiny compact, Jade starts the car like she's seen done a million times before. Putting the car in reverse, she backs out of the driveway. The first couple of blocks are jerky and she almost gets lost not being able to read the street signs in the dark, but she's always been a quick learner and makes it the rest of the way with ease.

Arriving at the park, Jade tries to look for Cat. She contemplates honking the horn, but decides not to, not wanting to bring unnecessary attention to herself. She then thinks about calling the girl, but realizes that she forgot her phone in her room. So, killing the engine, Jade gets out of the car and walks toward the park. She finds Cat easily enough, sitting in the fake tower at the top of the slide.

"Cat," Jade calls. She hears Cat's yelp of surprise before she says quickly, "Get down here so that we can go."

Cat slides down the slide and runs over to Jade, hugging the other girl tightly.

"I was so scared," Cat says into Jade's shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright." Jade says awkwardly, "Let's go. It's cold."

Cat nods and Jade leads her to the borrowed car.

"You drove?" Cat's eyes widen in surprise

"Yeah. 'You think I was going to walk?"

"But…that's illegal."

"So, let's not tell anyone."

Cat thinks about it a moment before saying, "OK!"

The ride back is quiet and uneventful.

Cat walks into Jade's room a little awe. She stares at the butterflies on the wall and smiles to herself before flopping on the bed.

"I'm tired," she mumbles, her face buried in Jade's bedspread.

Jade stares at her for a moment before climbing into bed as well.

"Go to sleep."

"OK."

(It's not until the next morning that Cat explains how her parents had taken her brother to visit her grandparents and had forgotten her. Jade literally couldn't hate them more at that point.)

Jade doubts her mother even noticed that her car was parked crookedly the next morning, or that Cat Valentine had not been there the night before. If she did notice, Jade decides, she just didn't care.

The first time that Cat dyes her hair red is shortly after that night. At school, Cat tells her that she did it to match red velvet cupcakes (her favorite), but Jade suspects it was to make it harder for her parents not to notice her.


	9. Exceptions

Jade doesn't believe in love. Not the way that Hollywood and "young  
adult" novels portray them anyway. She thinks the idea of there being  
exactly one person in the some seven billion in the world that can  
make you happy and can satisfy all your needs is ridiculous. She  
figures most people get married either because they are idiots or  
settling, which are, when you get right down to it, are pretty much the same thing.

Jade knows her parents aren't in love. They probably never were, but  
after having two kids it's not like they could just up and leave,  
could they? (Apparently they could)

She thinks her grandparents might be in love, or at least convinced  
themselves that they were, but then again she sees them so rarely that  
they could just be faking it.

Her brother was in love once, he says, but that wasn't really her  
story to tell.

So when Beck tells her that he loves her for the first time, she  
punches him in the arm and walks away. He continues to say it though,  
and despite her better judgment, she begins to believe him.


	10. Bare

At Hollywood Arts, every student is assigned a locker to be used for their four years there. It is their own personal space and they are told to decorate it however they saw fit; to make it express who they were. There were no actual rules about it, but it was a tradition that no one wanted to break.

Jade thinks about what to do with her locker for a long time. She doesn't want it to be some half-assed mosaic or mural or anything like that. She wants it to be creative, compelling, and deep, all the things she was. The idea comes to her in the middle of the night, a sort of Aha! moment of sudden insight. She stays up all night getting things ready and arrives at school early the next morning to get it all done.

Objectively, it looks simple enough; a collage of scissors adorning her locker door. (It definitely, contrasts with the nipple mosaic next to it.) Jade is happy with it though. Well, as happy as she ever is with anything.

It is later that day that Jade is called into Lane's office for the first (of many) times.

"Jade West, right?" he asks when she enters the room. Jade glares at him sitting on his hammock before answering in the affirmative.

"And you're a freshman, correct?"

Jade rolls her eyes. "I'm sure that's all written down in my file or whatever. When is this over because I'm missing my class now and aren't you supposed to be trying to keep me in school?"

Lane ignores the question and continues. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble. The reason I called you in here is just because some of your teachers are…concerned about your collage. Your locker."

"What about it?"

"Just how you decided to decorate it. Scissors are an interesting choice. As is your wardrobe…"

Jade rolls her eyes again, this time accompanied with a loud, annoyed sigh. Wordlessly she pushes up her sleeves up past her elbows, showing him her bare arms. She can tell that he is a little surprised that there are no scars decorating her pale wrists.

Exasperated, she asks, "Can I go now?"

Lane nods but says, "If you ever need to talk…"

Jade ignores him as she shoulders her bag and exits the office.


	11. An Experiment With Scissors

When Jade is fourteen, she cuts her hair for the first time in years. She is bored and feels like a change, so one Friday afternoon she takes a pair of scissors from her mom's craft room (not that anyone used it) and chopped her hair.

For a while she stares at herself in the bathroom mirror. The cut is messy and a little uneven, falling just past her shoulders. Looking at her reflection, Jade can't decide whether she likes the cut or not, but it is a change, so she leaves the room satisfied.

Monday morning, Jade meets Cat as usual by her locker. Instead of being greeted with the bubbly redhead's brilliant smile (which, annoying as it could be, was a staple in her morning), Jade was faced with a confused expression.

"Your hair is gone," Cat points out slowly.

"I cut it," Jade answers simply.

Frowning, Cat reached a hand out to touch Jade's cropped hair. "I liked it long."

Nodding, Jade walked away while a somber Cat followed behind. Years later, although she never drew attention to the fact, Cat would realize that that was the last time Jade had ever cut her hair, letting it grow long instead.


	12. Marked

Jade gets her first tattoo shortly visiting her brother when she is fifteen.

It's a star on her right forearm that got her grounded for six weeks (in theory). Like everything Jade does, the tattoo has meaning.

Mostly, it's about Beck. He is the one shining spot in Jade's life. Her star. It's her way of saying that she belonged with (but never _to) _him.

She chooses red because red is his favorite color. She prefers black, but sees the appeal of red. It's the color of blood, of passion; of courage and fire.

(And, though she would never admit it, if Cat were to lay her head on Jade's arm, it would match.)


	13. Jar of Hearts

On Jade's beside table, in a jar of yellow formaldehyde was the heart of a pig. She'd liberated it from the office of one of the many shrinks her father kept making appointments for. The reason she took it were, one: she wanted it, and two: he was a child psychiatrist, what the hell did he have it for anyway?

Cat was horrified when she first saw it, not because Jade owned a heart in a jar, but because Jade owned a heart in a jar that she hadn't named. So, for half an hour Cat sat on the floor in Jade's room whispering names to the jar trying to find the one the pig would like while Jade herself concentrated on her physics homework. 

The truth was, Cat had just shown up at her house that morning and Jade was glad that she was entertaining herself instead of trying to persuade Jade into playing whatever she could come up with like she had an hour ago. 

Every now and again Jade could pick up a name Cat whispered from where she was across the room. When Cat suggested the name Nathan, Jade actually broke the pencil she held in her hand. She said no so forcefully that Cat jumped and began to tear up. 

Finally, Cat crawled over to where Jade sat and proudly introduced the jar to her formally, announcing that she'd decided on the name Connor. 

"Why Connor?" Jade asked without looking up from her homework.  
"'Cause he looks like a Connor," Cat replied simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Perhaps it was.


	14. Superstition

Jade wasn't exactly one to believe in luck; she liked the idea of karma even less. She figured that people who blamed everything bad that happened to them on some all-powerful force were idiots who couldn't take responsibility for their own actions and that the people who praised a higher power for their good fortune were deluded.

That being said, Jade would admit (to a select few…under pain of death) that Friday the 13th has always been good to her. For one, it was on the 13th that she finally agreed to let Beck take her out, who, as many people have annoyingly pointed out, she is lucky to have in her life. There is also the pleasure she gets out of beautifully and thoroughly pranking everyone (mainly Sinjin) whenever the 13th fell on a school day (and sometimes even when it didn't.) Most importantly, however, if Jade were to be completely honest with herself and possibly with the help of a fever induced delirium, she would forever be thankful for that 13th back in 2006.

The day when a stranger saved her life.


	15. Common Conventions

Jade West is not friends with Robbie Shapiro. Ask anyone. After they're done laughing, they'll tell you about all of the times that Jade has humiliated the boy and/or maimed his puppet. They will tell you that the two of them being friends was just as likely as Trina Vega getting cast as the starring role in anything.

Of course what they don't know if that every summer Jade and Robbie would drive down to San Diego for most of a week.

The first time had been an accident. Jade had been saving money all year for her ticket and train ride. She'd taped a note to the refrigerator door while her mother was at work and left. Robbie, on the other hand, his parents were grateful to have him out of the house for a while, and practically paid him to go. The two of them ran into each other during the _Dexter _panel discussion. Jade had raised a brow upon seeing the skinny boy amble into the room, careful not to be trampled in the masses. She had always figured that he would be too squeamish to handle that sort of show. Curiosity motivated her to maneuver her way to the seat next to his, satisfied when he jumped in surprise. Keeping her face perfectly blank, she watched as he sputtered and glanced around as if looking for an exit. Just then the moderator walked on stage so Jade turned to face forward. Beside her, Robbie fidgeted in his seat for ten minutes before focusing on the panel.

Afterwards, Jade grabbed the boy's program and after nodding at what he'd highlighted and circled announced that she was hungry. Without another word, she grabbed Robbie's wrist and lead him to the nearest food stand with the shortest line. While waiting in line for the grossly overpriced sandwich, the two started what was initially a stilted conversation discussing their oddly similar taste in comics and games and their shared love/hate relationship with Joss Whedon. Jade was also impressed by the boy's interest in foreign psychological horror films. After Robbie paid for their lunch the two of them laid out a plan for the rest of the weekend.

That fall, when school started up again, a part of Robbie realized that the weekend had been a one-off sort of event and was not surprised when Jade went back to either ignoring him completely or defacing Rex in some way. He was surprised, however, to find flyers for an international film festival stuffed in his locker advertising a screening for _Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari._


End file.
